Dear God, Thank You For Forgiving Me Even When I Cannot Forgive Myself

*This write-up was supposed to be a blog entry for Lent, but I got so busy with household changes due to COVID-19. Nonetheless, I believe the message of God’s forgiveness should be made known , Lenten season or not.*

While I was a slave to sin

Jesus died for me

Yes He died for me

During a worship service, this song lyrics pierced my heart through and through. I was imagining myself doing ungodly things, yet there you were Jesus, suffering for me. I was so touched. Your love is immeasurable and unfathomable, to say the least.

I will never understand how You can love a sinner like me, but You are insistent. You want to enter my life and bless it despite my woundedness.

It is so hard to forgive myself for my wrongdoings.

I keep on torturing myself with thoughts of my unworthiness and shame. I tell myself, “hasn’t God blessed me with so much abundance? How was I able to turn away from Him still?”

What I’ve learned is that no one is too far away for You not to reach. No one is too messy for You not to tame. No one is too sinful for You not to restore.

All I need to do is to come as I am. You will embrace me no matter what state I am in. I do not need to fix myself before approaching You. I cannot do that. Only You can do that work.

If You, the Lord Almighty forgave me, what right do I have to not forgive myself?

I am from dust, and to dust, I shall return. I am but an ash in this vast world, yet You gaze upon me with pure love. What can be more amazing than that?

Again, thank you Lord for the gift of mercy. I feel your love that is new every morning as I wake up with sun rays peeking through my window. I know it signifies the warmth of your love shining from the heavens.

To you, who’s reading this… I don’t know why or how you came across this article – coincidence, conscious effort, God’s plan? No matter the circumstance, know that there is a reason. You are here because you need to hear that you are valued, loved and forgiven. I know there are days when you feel ashamed and unworthy, but please rest in the promise that there is someone higher up there who is madly in love with you – Jesus. He died for you. He paid the price of your sin debt in full.

You are forgiven, even before you commit the sin.

I’ve been struggling with guilt and unforgiveness these past months, but let me tell you this: God never showed me wrath. He just kept on forgiving and providing a way out. I cannot explain how amazing every single experience was. All I know is that He continuously showers me with grace – undeserved yet given freely through faith.

Praise God, at all times!

Hi dear readers, sorry for not being able to post for months! I know the world is chaotic right now, but hang in there! I will try to post more uplifting articles as regularly as I can. I hope you stick around. See you in the next!

<3,

Rina